Sparkles and Sticks

Maybe Not Everyone Personifies Espresso The Way I Do...

Does any body else ever wonder if lattes get really embarassed when people put whip cream on them?

Whip cream just doesn't belong on lattes.  Lattes are serious drink for no frills people.  They are men and women in black and white business suits.  Throw in a little vanilla syrup and you've got a suit with a pale blue shirt and maybe a tie with small dots on it- its still fairly serious business but a bit looser.

But whip cream?  That's like shoving one of those old fashioned flowered swimming caps on top of the ensemble.  It's just not the time or place.

TARDIS in San Francisco?

Object: One miniature Police Telephone Box.

Spotted: in Noe Valley of San Francisco, CA.

Color: TARDIS blue.

Near: A dog park.

Official Mission: Find the Doctor and help with the alien invasion that has clearly occured in sweet SF pups.

Secret Mission: Be so impressive in doggy aid that I am invited to be the next companion.

First Stop Once Aboard TARDIS: Jupiter.  I bet any aliens living there are mental bad-asses.

Dear Santa,

I finished my Christmas shopping today!  And I figured that you and your elves are super busy right now, so I thought I would offer to come up to the North Pole and help you get ready for the big day.  I can make some monster toys for you, if you need help with that.  I'm also a pretty quick knitter, so I could help whip out a few more hats, if you like.  Or, I could just help tie bows on packages that are already finished.

If you'd like the help, just send a reindeer with a good sense of direction and bottle of polar bear repellent* to my house.  A pair of those sparkly UGGs wouldn't hurt either, seeing as how its so chilly in your neck of the woods.  I'll have my needles and scissors packed and ready by the door.

Craftily Yours,

Jaime

*I don't fancy getting mauled by some King Polar Bears.  Why didn't you set up shop at the South Pole instead?  Penguins are so much more delightful, and therefore so much more in line with your brand, than Polar Bears.

Night Life at the California Academy of Sciences

Dear Gentle Readers,

I will forewarn you know: there is a moral hidden in the contents of this wee blog post.  You will find it mainly in the blurriness and sparsty of the photos.  Can you guess what the moral is?  Scribble your answers down as you read through the post, and find the answer written upside down at the bottom of the post...

(The Welcome screen in the Planetarium)

On Thursday Night Ashley and I went to Night Life at the California Academy of Sciences.  The Academy does Night Life nearly every Thursday night, which means the museum is open especially for 21+'s from 6-10 PM.  The regular exhibits of the museum are open, but there are also cocktails, music, and dancing!  The aquarium turned into a very cool disco, but I did feel a bit bad for all the fishes!  They couldn't have been enjoying the vibrations of the thumping bases.

Night Life's are themed too, and the theme on Thursday was Bazzar Bizzare!  Crafts + Science + Cocktails = one evening of geektastic bliss for Jaime.

(Ashley was my date for the evening.  He had lots of fun too, but managed to keep his cool a lot better than I did.  The second we walked in the museum I was like an anxious kid at Disneyland who had too many icecream cones and wanted to make sure she went on EVERY RIDE.)

Highlights of the evening:

-Meeting two cute (and very smelly) Reindeer.

-Watching a show in the Planetarium.

-Buying the prettiest headband ever from Feather Light.

-Getting freaked out by the albino alligator.

-Being delighted by Eunjung June Kim's magical illustrations (pictured below).

-Walking around Suess-like trees, waiting for an indoor snow party that never happened.

But the number one, absolute best thing about Night Life: looking at Jupiter through a telescope.  Jupiter is my favorite planet, and it was amazing to look at it with my own eyes.  I could even make out its sandy stripes!  It's one thing to visit planetariums, or watch pretty documentaries about stars and planets (which Ashley and I love to do!) but its another to actually see such a massive beast hanging in the sky with my own eyes.  It was represented in a tiny, peaceful magnification that probably doesn't represent its true character at all, but it was really, really there.

˙ʎɹoʇɔɐɟsıʇɐs uɐɥʇ ssǝן ǝɹɐ sʇןnsǝɹ ǝɥʇ  ˙ǝɯıʇ ǝɯɐs ǝɥʇ ʇɐ ןןɐ boןq ɹnoʎ ɹoɟ soʇoɥd ǝʞɐʇ puɐ'sɹoʇɐbıןןɐ ouıqןɐ ʇɐ ʞooן 'spuɐqpɐǝɥ ʎʇʇǝɹd ʎnq 'ןıɐʇʞɔoɔ ɐ ʞuıɹp oʇ ʎɹʇ ʇ,uop :ʎɹoʇs ǝɥʇ ɟo ןɐɹoɯ

The other night I went and saw a really implausible movie, and I pretty much loved it.  That movie was Breaking Dawn.  Yes, I am one of THOSE.*

The reason that Breaking Dawn is probably my favorite book in the Twilight saga is because it is so utterly implausible.  You don't get much more implausible than a woman caring a demon fetus inside her.  That is, unless you decide to let her forever survive it's birth...

(well, she survives in an un-dead way, at least)

...and add in some talking wolves...

(we are having a really big, wolfy argument! RAWR!)

...a sparkly vampire that is scared to have sex with his wife...

(Bella, I'm afraid I might break you if we try to do it again, so let's spend some time incorporating cover art from the books instead, mmkay?)

...and a teenage shape-shifting Alpha Dog falling in love with a barely born baby. 

(Yo, Brother Wolves!  You can't kill the crazy little hybrid kid that was just born!  I freakin' love her, dudes!)

I love all of those elements of the story.  They are so twisted, far-fetched , and gothic that they create a sort of hyperbole about crazy newlywed life.

(Everyday of our eternal marriage will be this perfect... right?  RIGHT?!?!)

But unfortunately, there was one implausibility in the movie that bugged me like a scarab.  The fact that a group of vampires who sparkle if they stumble into a patch of spotlight choose to have an outdoor wedding in one of the rainiest areas of North America makes no sense.  When a wedding could easily be destroyed by both sun and rain, there really is no winning.  Yet somehow, the only thing that really goes wrong at the wedding is that their friends and family give pretty embarrassing toasts.

(Really, a sunny outdoor wedding in Forks, Washington where the dozens of vampires in attendance don't turn into disco balls? )

That just wouldn't happen.

*************************************************************************************************************************************

*(A lot of people think that the Twilight Saga is a poorly written series, I know.  I even agree.  But I read the series at a very special time in my life: a time where I was discovering new caves of my imagination, a time when I was letting my mind leap into new worlds.  And when you read a book at the right time in your life, it sticks with you.  I'm hooked on monsters now, and Twilight was my gateway drug.  And for that, I will critique it, but I will never bash it.)

The One With All The Thanksgivings.

I hope your Turkey Days are filled with silly dances and spontaneous delcarations of love...

...three kinds of burnt potates and grilled cheese sandwiches...

...and a vicious competition for a troll nailed to a two-by-four.

Happy Thanksgiving, my F*R*I*E*N*D*S!

Happy November 11th.

(source-ish)

Geektastically Yours,

The (other redheaded) girl who (is still) waiting (for that lovely wooshing sound).  AKA, me.

Not Boo.

It all started with a very unfortunate and accidental viewing of A Nightmare on Elm Street when I was about five. My BFF, Beth, and I were at a neighbor's house playing with their visiting niece.  The niece asked if we wanted to watch a movie about a guy who was "kind of weird."

"Like an alien?"  I asked, thinking of E.T.

"Sort of..."

I was feeling brave.  I went for it.  My bravery quickly translated into stupidity as I not only sat through the entire movie, but didn't even have the sense to cover my eyes like Beth did.

I couldn't sleep in my own bed for a week.  I couldn't eat pizza for days (Beth's big brother told me that Freddy's make-up was a pizza smashed all over his face).  I couldn't watch scary movies for at least a decade.  I was five years old, and I was officially afraid of everything.

Not only did Freddy temporarily put a wedge between me and the scrumptious cheese pizzas I was so fond of, but he kind of crushed my social life as well.  I was the girl who always went home sick with a "tummy-ache" at sleepovers.  My "tummy-aches" always had impeccable timing.  They came on right after the games, presents and cake, and right before the pajamas and threat of scary stories and rated "R" movies.

I didn't always go home.  If I was really, really, really good friends with a girl I would stay the night but hide the scary story book that another girl gave her for her present, thus beginning a evening long search for the book in which I was forced to lie when questioned about its whereabouts.  Yeah, I saved the deceit and lies for my really good friends.

Sometimes I wonder how the Sleep Over Ruin-er I was became the Monster Maker I am today.  But then I take a look at the monsters I make: they have goofy grins, pastel skins, and wobbly eyes.  And the new ghosts that are in the shop as a Halloween Special- they have BOWS in their hair for cryin' out loud!  In fact, I am pretty sure that if these ghosts could speak, they would shout "Bow!" instead of "Boo!" 

And if the word "Bow!" sends you home with a tummy-ache?  Sorry, not even I can help you.

PS- I tried to watch Freddy again when I was a mature 17 years old.  It was still terrifying.

Captain Jack vs Captain Jack

Question:

Who would win in a face off between the world's two favorite Captain Jacks?

The Contestants:

Captain Jack Sparrow Worlds Best/Worst Pirate.  Fights with swords, the occasional gun, and anything else he can get his hands on.  Loves rum.  Captain of The Black Pearl (sometimes).

Captain Jack Harkness Immortal time jumper and alien fighter.  Fights with guns and alien weapons he has collected.  Loves pretty much any hot piece of arse that crosses his path.  Captain of armies in previous wars and Torchwood. 

The Fight:

The Captain Jacks would most likely cross paths while searching for an alien artifact they both want.  Harkness will want it for Torchwood and Sparrow will have no idea that it has anything to do with aliens.  He will probably think it is a perpetual rum dispenser or some special glue that will permanantly attach him as Captain of the Black Pearl.

The Outcome:

They each realize that the other Captain is much more interesting than the alien artifact in question.  They stop fighting and drink rum.  Lots of rum.  Harkness makes a pass at Sparrow.  Sparrow may or may not respond favorably (it is difficult to say while his character is trapped in a Disney movie).  They pass out.  Sparrow wakes up first and runs of with the alien artifact.  They spend many happy years chasing each other around, duelling, drinking, possibly snogging, and out witting each other.

.a lesson in fear.

Last night, I dreamt I was at the beach.  It was a beach I have never seen in real life, but have visited many times in my dreams.

There were wild animals there.

The camels were no big deal.  They kept their distance because they didn't much care that I was there, and I knew that I didn't have to be scared of them if they did decide to come over and check me out.

The rhinoceroses were terrifying.  They waved their horned snouts around, and I was glad that they could not see me from their rocky, up-beach station.

The lions RAWRED in my face.  They should have been terrifying, but I knew I could stare them down.

And I did.

I left this dreamscape without the pet bunny that I had picked out in the beginning of the dream. 

It was very sad indeed.